every os sucks

rodney — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 21:48:20 +0000

Well hi there
Thank you for downloading another fine quality comedy product from Three dead trolls in a baggie and your friends at mp3.com
Good for you
Of course, if you’ve downloaded this from napster, screw you, you know what, free isn’t good enough for you, your gotta rip us of, thats okay, I will find you and I will kill you
ha, ha, ha
You see, I come from a time in the nineteen hundred and seventies
when computers where used for two things
too either go to the moon or play pong
and nothing inbetween, you see
and You didn’t need a fancy operating system to play pong
and the men who went to the moon, god bless them
did it with no mouse
and a plain text only black and white screen
and thiry-two kilobytes of ram
but then round about the late seventies
home computers started to do a little bit more than play pong
very little more
why computers started to play games
and balance check books
why, you could play zakon on you apple II or write a book
all with a computer that had thirty-two kilobytes of ram
It was enough to go to the moon
it was enought for you
it was a golden time
a time before windows
a time before mouses
a time before the internet and bloatware
and a time before every OS sucked
ahhh
mmm
Well way back in the olden times my computer worked for me
I’d laugh and play all night and day on zork one, two and three
the amiga, vic 20 and sinclair two, the trs 80 and the apple II
they did what they where supposed to do
It wasn’t much but it was enough
but then xerox made a prototype
Steve Jobs came on the scene
read of mice and menues windows, icons, trash and a bitmapped screen
Oh stevie said to xerox boys, turn your heads and cough
and when noone was looking he ripped their interfaces off
stole every feature that he had seen
put it in a cute box with a tiny little screen
MacOS ran that machine
only cost 5000 bucks
but it was slow
it was buggy
so they wrote it again
and now they’re up to OS ten
they’ll charge you for the beta, then charge you again
but the MacOS still sucks
every OS wastes your time
from the desktop to the lap
every thing since apple dos
just a bunch of crap
from microsoft and macintosh
to lin-ly-lin-ly-nucs
evey computer crashes
cause ever os sucks
well then microsoft jumped in the game
copied apples interface with an os named
windows three point one
it was twice as lame
but the stock price rose and rose
then windows 95, then 98
man, solitarie never ran so great
and every single version came out late
but I guess thats the way it go
but that bloatware will crash and delete your work
and dme man none of them work
bill gates may be richer than captain kirk
but the windows os blows
and sucks
at the same time
I’d trade it in, yeah, right
for what
it’s top of the line
from the compuhut
the fridge, stove and toaster
never crash on me
I should be able to get online
without a Phd
my phone doesn’t take a week to boot it
my tv doesn’t crash when I mute it
I miss ascii text in my floppy drive
I wish vic 20 was still alive
It ain’t the hardware man
it’s just that every OS sucks
and blows
Now theres lin-ux or ly-nic
I don’t know how you say it
or how you install it or use it or play it
or where you download it or what programs run
but lin-ux or ly-nic don’t look like much fun
however you say it
it’s getting great press
though how it survives is anyones guess
if you ask me it’s a great big mess
for elitist nerdy schmucks
it’s free they say
if you can get it to run
the geeks say hey, thats half the fun
yeah, but I’ve got a girlfriend and things to get done
the linux OS sucks
I’m sorry to say it but it does
every os wastes your time
from the desktop to the lap
everything since the abacus, just a bunch of crap
from microsfot and macintosh
to lin-ly-lin-ly-nucs
every computer crashes cause evey os sucks
every computer crashes cause evey os sucks

the war of 1812

rodney — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 21:47:37 +0000

Oh come back proud canadians
to before you had tv
no hockey night in canada
there was no cbc
(oh my god!)
in 1812 madison was mad
he was the president you know
well he thought he’d tell the british
where they ought to go
he though he’d invade canada
he thought that he was tough
instead we went to washington
and burned down all his stuff
and the whitehouse burned, burned, burned
and we’re the ones that did it
it burned, burned, burned
while the president ran and cried
it burned burned burned
and things where very historical
and the americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies, wah, wah, wah
in the war of 1812!
Now some hillbillies from Kentucky
dressed in green and red
left home to fight in Canada
but they returned home dead
Its only war the Yankees lost
except for Vietnam
and also the Alamo
right
and the Bay of… Ham
The loser was America
The winner was ourselves
So join right in and gloat about
The war of 1812
and the whitehouse burned, burned, burned
and we’re the ones that did it
it burned, burned, burned
while the president ran and cried
it burned burned burned
and things where very historical
and the americans ran and cried like a bunch of little babies, wah, wah, wah
in the war of 1812!

In 1812 we where just sitting around
minding our own business
putting crops into the ground
we heard the soldiers comeing and we didn’t like that sound
so we took a boat to washington
and burned it to the ground

oh, we fired our guns
but the yankees kept on coming
there wasn’t quite as many as there was awhile ago
we fired once more and the yankees started running
down the missasipi
to the gulf of mexico..o..o..o

they ran though the snow
and they ran though the forest
they ran though the bushes where the beavers wouldn’t go
they ran so fast they forgot to take their culture
back to america…aa…aa

so if you go to washington
it’s bulidings, clean and nice
bring a pack of matches
and
we’ll
burn the whitehouse twice
and the whitehouse burned burned burned
and the americans won’t admit it
it burned burnedburned
burnedburnedburned
burnedburnedburned
I bet that payed them back

realitysuxs » three dead trolls

every os sucks

the war of 1812